Chronically PhD #1 – what to do when you get ill

This is a new tiny series about doing a PhD with a chronic illness.

Everyone will get at least a bit ill a some point during their PhD, even if it’s just a week of flu. It’s different when you have a chronic illness, because it will happen more often, and probably take longer to recover from, so it’s good to have some tricks up your sleeve for coping with work & ill-health. Most people with a chronic illness are pretty expert in managing their illness and their life, and all of those tricks also apply to PhDing. Here are some of mine for the more acute / short-term illness blips:

In advance:

Have a buffer zone

I always try and give myself a buffer around a deadline, so that I can have a few days out if I need and still work at my normal pace to get everything done. It definitely helps to feel less stress when I do need time off because I know I have the time. But, as a more anxious person, it does mean I can get anxious about work/deadlines earlier than I need to, which is unhelpful to me and the people around me. But still, wherever possible get a buffer!

nopeWhen you get ill:

Give yourself a break

Give yourself permission to take time off. This sounds stupid but so many people don’t let themselves, guilt-free, have a sick day doing nothing ‘productive’. Working when you’re too ill is only going to make you feel worse, produce poor work, and make your recovery longer. If you struggle to give yourself permission, have a friend who knows you be the person who ‘tells you off’ and makes you stay home (with Netflix and not Mendeley).

Remember you don’t have to work at the office

If you’re feeling too grotty for a full day, but are able to work for a couple of hours, work from home. If you go into the office, you have to get dressed, travel in, and be somewhat functional & upright, which will reduce the amount of ‘wellness time’ you have. Stay in your pyjamas, in your bed / on the sofa, and keep those spoons for the work, not the stuff around the work. (But obviously take the full day off with no work if that’s what you need).

Make a ‘must must’ list

If you’re feeling stressed about the work you’re missing or the buffer getting shorter, make a ‘must must list’. Basically:

  1. Write a to do list for whatever it is that you’re working on
  2. Work out which things absolutely must happen this week. ‘Must must’ only!
  3. Work out which of those ‘must must’ happen today
  4. Absolutely ignore everything else on the list. They’re urgent, but not for today

Usually, I find my must must list is shorter than my anxious brain is telling me. Sometimes, I have urgent things to do but none of them are musts for today, so I can much more happily let myself recover.

This usually works in the short-term, but it’s also how I coped with much more severe illness and general life tasks like showering. Showering not a must must today? Then let yourself not and save those spoons to have a non-microwave dinner.

If you do your must must list and it’s honestly only must musts but there’s more than you can manage, it’s time to start letting other people know…

Let other people know

You don’t have to disclose anything you don’t want to, but it can be helpful if at least one of your supervisors are aware you have a chronic condition (you don’t have to say what it is, just how it affects you, like needing flexible working). If you’re starting to lose / go beyond your buffer and you’re worried, tell them. This isn’t just a chronically ill person thing, people get the flu all the time. Don’t make your stress worse by stewing in it alone while your supervisors are unaware until it’s too late. They might be able to move a deadline, advise you on what to do if they can’t, etc. It’s literally their job to support you through your PhD, but they can’t do that unless they know what support you need (and they’ve definitely had students who’ve had illness/childcare/life get in the way of a deadline before).

Have you got any tips for what to do when you actually get ill?

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June – August reads 2018

My reading has hugely decreased since starting the PhD, but I’m trying to get back into the habit again. I read nothing in June, Heartburn in July, then the other three in one glorious bank holiday weekend.

heartburnHeartburn by Nora Ephron (novel)

This was a good book for getting back into reading – it’s short, quick to read, and has a really strong voice. It was enjoyable enough, but felt kind of one note. The strength of the book lies in the strength of the voice, but there was no depth to hold it up. The part about different types of potatoes for different times stayed with me (particularly that you most need mashed potatoes when you have the least energy to make them), but otherwise it was fairly forgettable.

town is by the seaTown is By The Sea by Joanne Schwartz & Sydney Smith (children’s picture book)

This is a beautiful and sad story that’s simply a boy living in a mining town by the sea in the 1950s telling you about his day. Each section starts with the boy telling you “it goes like this” and, though it’s bright and almost idyllic, the repetition of the words and his days gives the story an inevitability that links with him inevitably following his father and grandfather into the mines. The watercolour illustrations by Sydney Smith are beautiful, particularly the sparkling double spreads of the sea, and the contrast between that and the darkness in the mine underneath. I suspect this is one of those books that reads differently to adults and children, so I’d be interested to know if it’s a sad story for children too.

home fireHome Fire by Kamila Shamsie (novel)

This novel is a modern retelling of Sophocles’ Antigone, which I’m not familiar with at all. I’ve heard it’s a good retelling, so I’m sure I missed a layer of subtext, though there is something interesting in how all the characters are trying to break free of stories/futures that others have told for them, which is impossible because it’s a retelling so their stories literally already have been told for them. It’s surprisingly easy to read given the themes are essentially about complexity – the complexity of family relationships, and the different ways people deal with prejudice, interpret religion, and see the ‘best thing’ to do. I found the ending a bit disappointing. It felt like a single-moment film ending – [spoiler thing happens], credits roll. But it would have been more interesting with more complexity woven in. (Though I don’t know how Antigone ends so it may be related to that). I liked it, but my expectations were a little too high given I’ve mostly seen positive reviews, and only gushing reviews of the ending which I thought was the weakest point.

mend the livingMend the Living by Maylis de Kerangal, tr. by Jessica Moore (novel, French in translation)

This novel follows a heart from organ donor to recipient, and the stories of the people around them. The writing shifts between stream of consciousness and more straightforward prose, depending on what’s happening, which makes for really interesting changes in pace and emotion. Some of the details in a few of the characters’ backstories felt a bit too tangential and detracted from the flow, but generally the different viewpoints worked. Simon donates many of his organs, but there’s something emotive about following a heart, rather than a kidney, as an organ that’s often used a symbol of love and that you can see and feel beat from outside the body. My copy also had a translator’s note at the end, which I always appreciate as translation is an act of co-creation so it’s always interesting to see how the particularly translator approaches the particular text.

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Why you think your writing is the worst (when it’s not)

Writing is the worst. I mean, I’m sure there are some people who enjoy the writing stage of a project, but it’s the worst. I think it’s because good writing looks effortless – the words so obviously should go in that order that it must be easy to put them there if only you had the talent. But because it actually takes effort to make it look effortless, feeling like it should be easy makes it all the harder. This is why I sometimes think writing is hard / you think your work is crap:

1. You’re comparing a draft to a finished product

What you read, generally, has already gone through a lot of editing and, in the case of journal articles, peer review. Your draft will not look like an edited piece of work; no first draft is as good as the edited one. It’s difficult to find drafts to compare with, because they are rarely seen / published, but the photo below is a draft (with edits) of the first paragraph of Orwell’s 1984. That famous first line – which so obviously should have those words in that order – took a little while to get there. And look at all that scribbling out! There’s at least two different pens which suggests at least two rounds of editing, and probably more.

Photo 25-07-2013 17 51 38

2. Your ideas are non-verbal

(…or not quite verbal). Often, you have a sense of something, but you just can’t express it yet. Or you know what you mean but it’s all tangled up. It’s like it’s on the tip of your brain and you can’t quite read it. Which means you can’t quite write it. If you talk it through (either literally with another person, out loud to yourself, or on the page), it can help to make things verbal/untangled. Let it be un-self-consciously tangled and it should become clearer in the edit.

3. You have great taste

I can’t remember which writer it was, maybe Neil Gaiman, who said one of the reasons you think your own writing is terrible is because your taste is so good. You know what good writing from good writers looks like, and yours doesn’t look like that. Yet. It doesn’t mean yours is terrible, it just means you have more practice to do (or more editing, as per above). Just do some basking in the glory of your excellent taste.

I am at my procrastinating worst when it comes to writing, so this is mostly for me: just get the words out, it’s easier to work with something than a blank page. Great writing is all in the edit.

I-am-a-tiny-Potato

 

 

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PhD-ish #1: Podcasts

It’s okay to listen/watch/read something just for the sheer pleasure of it – not everything has to have a purpose. Sometimes, though, you want something engaging and fun that also gives you a little something more. That’s what PhD-ish recommendations are all about – those things that have nothing to do with your specific topic area but might help open up your thinking in some way (but are also entertaining in their own right).

This week – podcasts! I’ve linked suggested episodes to the podcasts’ own websites, but they’re all available on the usual pod-catchers.

secret feminist agendaSecret Feminist Agenda

Hannah McGregor is a Canadian academic who is really smart, really funny, and enjoyable to listen to. This podcast is about “the insidious, nefarious, insurgent, and mundane ways we enact our feminism in our daily lives”, is often related to academia, and is just so damn enjoyable as well as thought-provoking and inspiring. It’s weekly, alternating between a longer interview episode and a shorter ‘mini-sode’ with Hannah.

Hannah is also looking at podcasts as a legit form of academic output, and even piloted having it peer reviewed. You can read the reviewers’ comments and her response here.

Suggested episode: It’s really hard to pick one but try Bringing Yourself To Work feat. Baharak Yousefi. It is centered around academia & universities, and is essentially about how bringing your whole self to work is a radical act.

cropped-WitchPlease_960pxWitch, Please

Speaking of Hannah McGregor, she also co-hosts Witch, Please with fellow literary academic Marcelle Kosman. This is an incredibly funny, smart, feminist, intersectional, and loving critique of Harry Potter. It’s best to start at the very first episode as they start from book 1 and move through books and films. As they find their podcasting feet they get better as they go, but, honestly, this is my favourite podcast ever. It’s hilarious but so smart and so thoughtful. I’m a better reader because of it.

Suggested episode: Just start at episode 1 and then go chronologically.

Ologies+ArtOlogies

Every week, Alie Ward interviews a different ‘ologist’ about their ‘ology’, from broad subjects like phonology (linguistics) to the more specific like rhinology (noses). Everything is fascinating if you look at it in enough depth, and I often find the topics I thought I would be least interested in are my favourites. And it’s just great to hear people getting the chance to really enthuse about their specialist area.

Suggested episode: Dendrology (trees) feat. J. Casey Clapp. Seriously, this guy is the most enthusiastic in the most lovely way about trees. I love him. Also hear the tale of the guy who accidentally chopped down the oldest tree in the world (always check in with local knowledge….)

invisibiliaInvisibilia

This is a science-based podcast, but is more narrative in tone (it’s NPR, so has a This American Life vibe). Invisibilia is about “the unseeable forces [that] control human behaviour and shape our ideas, beliefs, and assumptions”. Although I’ve yet to listen to the latest season, everything I have heard has been incredibly interesting, and, given the story-telling style, easy to listen to even when it gets more complex.

Suggested episode: Entanglement. There might be better episodes but this is the one that immediately sprung to mind because I still think about the woman with Mirror Touch Synesthesia.

story colliderStory Collider

I’ve only listened to a couple of episodes of this but I think it’s a keeper. It’s basically personal stories in some way related to science and the week’s theme, recorded at a live event. As well as just being interesting, the ‘live’ element also adds an element of performance that the other podcasts don’t have. Sometimes it’s not just the story, but the way it’s told that makes it great – which is important to bear in mind when thinking about dissemination of your own research stories. And that you don’t have to be a scientist to have a science story to tell.

Suggested episode: Identity: Stories about figuring out who we are. The first part with Jason Rodriguez is a great story about learning to bring together his different cultural and professional identities.

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PhD #WeekInTheLife – June 2018

Reading/watching other PhD students’ week in the life posts & videos usually gives me a kick up the butt to get moving and/or makes me feel less like I’m the worst PhD student in the world and more like I’m feeling normal things. And it seemed like a good way to start changing this blog from being purely about books to more about research.

I’ll update this at the end of every day this week with what I’ve been doing & some more interesting photos when I’m at the museum. I don’t have much booked in at the beginning of this week (but work to do), and then I’m at the museum all day Thursday and Friday morning. I’m about 7 months into my PhD, and you can find out a little about my project here. (I’ll do a full post about what I’m doing soon).

Let’s see if the observation of a thing really changes that thing and I procrastinate less than usual just because I know I’m going to write about it…

CAC709BD-5F09-45D6-94DC-F4FD070E6230Monday

Today’s about catching up on a few emails, then getting stuck into some literature.

I’m coming towards the end of my realist review (hopefully!). I’ll write a post at some point about my experience of doing a realist review as compared to a standard systematic one, but the main thing to understand for today’s work is that it has less clearly defined boundaries around what to include, so it can be hard to know when enough is enough. Or at least that’s where my anxiety lies. At the moment I’m deciding whether to include an area of literature as a formal part of the review or as a discussion point. I think it will be a (key) discussion point, and something I think about for my evaluation, but I just want to read around a little more.

It’s actually really interesting how little there is about the dynamics of caring relationships in dementia, both for professional and family carers, and how those dynamics can have an impact on, or be a context for, how psychosocial or creative interventions work. There is some research there, but not enough. (I got some really useful signposting from a researcher here in Exeter and someone I met on training last week. I’m definitely getting better at asking for pointers when I’m stuck, instead of just trying to wade through treacle by myself.)

nopeSpeaking of wading through treacle, I’m really tired today, so haven’t been the most productive. My health shenanigans include severe fatigue, and I haven’t been resting properly the past few weeks so it’s catching up with me a bit. I actually napped during the day at the weekend (which as a person who can’t sleep if there’s any light/noise is basically unheard of) after a week of headaches, nausea, etc, so I know the warning flags are out. I’ll be fine; I just need to pull back a little & reconfigure how I’m living before the warning flags become a proper flare-up that takes a lot longer to crawl back from. There’s always that tension, for everyone, between what you want to do and what your body can do, it’s just that my Threshold of Nope is much lower than other people’s. Early finish, then trash TV & a pizza for me tonight!

E6405979-684E-4801-B7FA-CE2B86C7877ATuesday

Another office day today, but thankfully not feeling quite so dead so actually getting some stuff done!

Got to the office at 9.45am, pratted about on Twitter a bit, then got started about 10ish. I’m definitely not including caring relationship dynamics as a formal part of the review, so, even though there’s more to read, I’m putting it to one side until I write the discussion.

This morning I refined and added to my programme theories (the theories I’ve developed as a result of the review, and will test in my evaluation). I’m not 100% happy with them but they’re almost there. Then I skimmed back through my research diary to check for notes I’d made myself to add into the theories or the discussion. (If you don’t keep a research diary I really recommend it – it means I don’t forget random thoughts or my thinking process, which is helpful when I can’t remember why I decided to do something a particular way).

Then it was all about starting the results section. Some of that was just figuring out how to write it by reading a few review papers & example PhDs – I’ve never done a realist review before & it’s a little less structured than I’m used to. But at 2K words today I’m around a third done with the results section draft! (Thank you past me for the clear notes on where the specific evidence for each theory is, except that one section where you didn’t)

In between those things I did small admin jobs – a few emails for the conference I’m helping to organise, and for the museum group on Thursday. (Also Twitter scrolling & a game of HQ Trivia).

A much better PhD day! (PhDay?). My body really needed to leave by 4pm, but I had to wait for someone, so left the office at 5, ready for another evening of pyjamas & trash to stay on top of health shenanigans.

4F356132-E366-4CDD-BB7D-D44946DD15E3Wednesday

Final office day of the week. Got in about 10am and did some admin/emails until supervision with my main supervisor at 11am.

The rest of the day was writing the results section, interspersed with a few emails and Twitter scrolling. Finally have a draft of this bit (and a shiny 6K words of the thesis done). I mean, it’s rubbish, some of the writing is truly awful & it needs some structural tweaking, but it’s so much easier to write from something than a blank page. Many of my shiny new words will be deleted and replaced, but it’s a start.

I’m at the museum tomorrow which is a bit more exciting, but I’m very aware I have no academic extra-curriculars this week, like teaching or exciting meetings, so I’m “not busy”. I also have this anxiety, writing what I’m doing here, that I’m also not doing enough work & it shows. Everyone in academia is extremely qualified, and there’s a pressure to be doing more, getting involved more, to show your worth to future employers and make sure you are extra-ordinarily qualified to have a chance. I hate competitive busyness and I generally do my best not to play, but, even so, I’ve clearly still internalised that pressure. Not just to play, but to show here how much I do, how well I do, how effortlessly I do. Having been a “disabled scrounger”, I know it’s not an issue just in academia, but in our culture more widely, but even knowing all that it’s hard to resist that internalised link between productivity and self-worth, and the anxiety that comes with that, particularly when you have additional limitations which mean you couldn’t keep up even if you wanted to. (Despite this ramble/rant, I am in a good mood today).

Had my dinner at my desk and left at 5.30 for a book club in town tonight – “Women & Power” by Mary Beard.

one cameraThursday

Thursday is museum day! I always work from the museum offices on a Thursday, either working on the dementia programme or just doing my usual PhD stuff but from there. Even though it’s not all directly relevant, it means I get to know the museum & the staff (& vice versa), understand these programmes better, how all the behind-the-scenes organising works, and just work in a non-academic environment. I love working on the programme itself. I volunteer at the sessions, so get to hang out & chat art with people and see the actual impact of the PhD with actual humans.  It’s so great.

The dementia sessions here run once a month, and are either object handling, art-making, or a tour of one of the exhibitions. People with dementia generally attend with a carer, spouse, or friend, and the way the sessions are facilitated mean they’re not based on reminiscence or memory, and everyone can enjoy and contribute on an equal basis. It’s about an ‘in the moment’ wellbeing and enjoyment, as well as intellectual stimulation and meeting other people.

lots cameraToday was a photography session, based around portraiture. After the usual tea & biscuits, we looked at old cameras (they’re such lovely objects), and at different examples of portraiture in photography art-books. We then went up to one of the museum galleries and had a quick look around a current exhibition of paintings about childhood, which mainly includes painted portraits of children. We talked a bit about the difference between a more typical “say cheese” photo we might have taken of others, and the various poses/framing/etc of people in the photos and paintings we looked at. Then, in pairs, people chose photos from the books, recreated the poses, and took photos using digital cameras. At the end of the session we had another cuppa and looked at everyone’s photos projected on the big screen. It was a fun session, and people really made it their own by changing up the poses and doing things like taking close-up pictures of hands. This is my favourite part of the PhD.

Back in the museum office, as part of helping to update their in-house evaluation of the programme, I inputted old (and today’s) evaluation forms, and worked on updating the registration forms. Next time I’ll start analysing past years’ data and finalising the new forms.

I left a little early to head back to the office as I had a follow-up webinar on the philosophical foundations of realist evaluation training I went on last month. Really helpful to talk through sticky issues of ontology, and especially being able to listen in on other people’s questions & answers. My head is full of nerding. That finished about 5.30pm, and I left the office at 6pm.

It’s been a good, thought-provoking, day.

A2A3B5D5-3BE2-41D2-90B8-DFD982314BB4Friday

Even though I’ve been at the museum a while, I hadn’t had an official induction, so this morning I joined a volunteer induction session.

When that finished at 1pm, I had a sunny lunch outside on the cathedral green, then headed to the office.

Following yesterday’s webinar, there are some conceptual things I want to tweak in my programme theories, and I want start my ethics form / evaluation planning (the data stuff I was doing yesterday is for the museum, not my PhD). But, I was really exhausted again and I knew I’d get frustrated with myself (like on Monday) if I tried to do something that required much concentration. So I spent the afternoon making notes so that I could still make progress today in a less taxing way and get into my thinking more quickly on Monday, and doing some admin like booking a hotel for a course next month. I also had a quick look through the prep tasks for a visual methods day I’m doing next week and holy hell the questions for discussion are so interesting. Ending the week feeling like I haven’t done nearly enough, but definitely happily motivated for the next.

Weekend

I don’t work on weekends. Inevitably, that will change at some point, but I’m trying to go as long as I can without any evening or weekend work. On Saturday I have a recovery day which will be pure pyjamas (with a little tweaking of my D&D character before a new game starts next week), and on Sunday I’m officiating a roller derby game as my other alter ego, Dame of Thrones.

Typical week?

I picked this week mostly at random, but it’s turned out fairly typical. What I’m working on changes, and I sometimes have other meetings/extra-curriculars, but otherwise this is it – some feeling like I make no progress, some feeling like I make good progress, some museum, some reading, some writing. I was way less productive this week than I could have been (and would have liked) if I’d been looking after myself better recently (the contrast between high & low fatigue days is massive). So I’m going to get back on track with that & then I should feel a little more consistent across the whole week (and get more done overall without feeling ill as an extra bonus).

I really like reading about what other people actually do, so give me shout if you do your own PhD-InTheLife!

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May reads 2018

by grand central.jpgBy Grand Central Station I Sat Down And Wept by Elizabeth Smart (novel)

Blurry. This book was just blurry for me. It’s like I could see that there was some beautiful writing, some raw and fully-felt emotion, but I couldn’t quite get hold of it. There were moments that I was in sync with it but then it just would slip away again. I was happy when I read it, which maybe isn’t the right headspace, but a book that’s essentially about raw emotion should be moving nonetheless. Maybe part of the point is how caught up in its own lyricism it is (as she is caught up in the emotion), but it just didn’t do it for me.

the lost thingThe Lost Thing by Shaun Tan (graphic novel)

I just love Shaun Tan’s work. I don’t like this as much as The Arrival or The Red Tree, because it doesn’t have that same darkness or depth to it, but it’s still good. You can read it as a simple story of a boy finding a place for a lost thing, or as a story about rushing through the day-to-day and not noticing anymore, and how we treat those things which are different. If you’ve never read Tan before, definitely start with The Arrival or The Red Tree, but then give this one a go too.

the empathy exams.jpgThe Empathy Exams by Leslie Jamison (non-fiction)

I’ve been meaning to read this for such a long time and I’m so glad I finally got round to it. Each essay deals with empathy and pain in different ways, and it’s more memoir-confessional in style (and it’s helpful to know that going in as most of the marketing I saw made it sound more like a pop science book). It’s incredibly thought-provoking, interesting, and sharply written. Even you don’t agree with everything she says or does I think you still get something from it. Highly recommended.

another day in the death of americaAnother Day in the Death of America by Gary Younge (non-fiction)

Younge took a random 24-hour period (Saturday 23rd November 2013) and wrote about every child and teen killed by gunfire (not including suicide) in America. There were ten. Each chapter discusses one child and what happened to them, but also who they were as people and what their lives were like. Each chapter takes aspects of their story to discuss a different aspect of gun crime or American culture. It’s incredibly empathic and powerful. It’s not about gun control; but it is about gun control. The worst and most damning thing about this book is that it could have been written about any day. Any day. If you read nothing else, read this book; these ten lives are representative of so many:

Jaiden Dixon
Kenneth Mills-Tucker
Stanley Taylor
Pedro Cortez
Tyler Dunn
Edwin Rajo
Samuel Brightmon
Tyshon Anderson
Gary Anderson
Gustin Hinnant

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April reads 2018

Another month where I didn’t read much. I think this is going to be a theme over the next three years of my PhD. But, I did read something, which is better than nothing.

a pair of filk stockingsA Pair of Silk Stockings by Kate Chopin (short stories)

I normally don’t like these very mini Penguin Classics because they’re just not long enough for me to get properly into them, but I really liked this. In particular, the title story (which comes at the end), is something I normally wouldn’t like but I loved. It’s basically just a kind of quiet joy in spending a day just for you, for what you want. It ends before she goes home, and so you never see the guilt that will probably come, or the questions about where that money went. It’s just joyful, and it’s great. If you ever need incentive to Treat Yo Self, just read this one story, it only takes 5/10 minutes and then you’ll be off to the theatre in no time.

the dumb houseThe Dumb House by John Burnside (novel)

Although the plot is completely different, this reminded me a lot of Lolita. The narrator of The Dumb House is also pretty horrifying and unreliable and trying to convince his audience that he is unquestionably in the right. The writing, although not quite as beautiful as Nabokov’s, is sharp and eloquent and the tone is perfect. The blurb is a little misleading, as it makes it sound as though it’s mostly about an experiment he conducts on his own children, which only happens in the final section. It’s more about him as a character and narrator. I chose this for a book club (before I’d read it), and I have a feeling some people are going to hate it, but there’s so much to discuss I think it’s going to be a good one. Sharply written, compelling, and horrifying – one of my favourites of the year so far.

bi the wayBi The Way by MJ Wallace (graphic novel, non-fiction)

This is a comic about MJ’s realisation that she’s bi, while in a long-term relationship with a man. The latter part of that sentence might not seem relevant, but it is – so many bi people struggle with their identity because of not feeling ‘queer enough’, and relationship status being conflated with sexuality. A lot of what she talks about is stuff I’ve felt myself, so it’s a very affirming kind of story. There’s also a bunch of stuff in there about being a good ally to bi people, or how to react to someone coming out, so it’s also a good book to quietly push into the hands of straight (or some LGBT) people who don’t quite get it. The back cover also has a list of excellent bi puns. I am always here for puns.

Photo 06-05-2018, 15 16 39

Currently reading: By Grand Central Station I Sat Down And Wept by Elizabeth Smart

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